Mama Thoughts

Here it goes.  I'm going to rant.  It's time. Today was the day to trigger such a thing. The day started out very well.  Our nanny came so that I could go to my first exercise class since baby.  Went to Daily Method and tried my first Barre class.  Totally kicked my little isolated muscles. I will for sure be sore tomorrow. Came home, ran to the shower, grabbed the baby from the nanny and sent her home.  Baby was perfect all morning. Afternoon hits. I'm super tired.  Not only am I waking up 3-4 times a night, I'm also dumb enough to go to a Barre class... so what did I expect?  I'm going to try to get baby to sleep so that I can nap. Baby won't sleep. He gets overtired so I succumb and go for a walk with the stroller.  He passes out for 30 minutes.  I think... "I'll head home, park him outside by the door and nap on the couch."  He wakes up. I play with him a bit, nurse him, try to get him to sleep.  No dice. ...

Whelp it's official. Game on. My first "I don't love you" came in today.  It actually stung less than I thought it would. I read this blog a few weeks prior to giving birth about "10 things that nobody will tell you about having a second child."  One of the items was "you will have moments where you hate your firstborn child."  I thought to myself "No way!" She is too young to understand what's going on, she's going to feel lonely and I am going to do everything I can to shield this little person from the big bad baby that is about to be born. Whelp. Yeah. I don't hate my little girl.  But once that baby comes out and you see how little they are and how big their sibling is and how they have a functioning brain and the little one doesn't... it happens pretty quickly actually.  My allegiance can now swing either way.  And especially around bedtime, it's swinging towards my lover and not my fighter. This l...

Today was my six week check-up with the midwives.  They check out your junk, weigh you, ask you some "are you suffering from PPD" questions and then send you on your way with birth control (lol... just in case waking up 4 times a night really leaves you with a strong libido).  I've been thinking a lot lately about how a second child is different from the first... and this check-up really brought it home. Last time, with Lilah, the post-partum was such a shock for me .  She was a very difficult baby.  Now that I have another to compare... there is no comparison.  Sure, he gets a little fussy around dinner/bedtime when there are 40 balls in the air at once and Yan and I are doing our damndest to get our needy 2 year old to sleep and maintaining the illusion that "nothing has changed."  We've got potty-training regression, attention-seeking behavior, and a typical two year old who is just pushing her boundaries as far as she can before they snap back. ...