Mama Thoughts

Six short months ago I read Lean In  and loved it.  I was completely smitten with the idea of having a kid and still being super involved in my work.  I was totally convinced that I was going to have this child and somehow work things out and stay "on the same level" as the men I was surrounded by at work in administration.  I also was sure that I'd have a natural child birth and breastfeed my child and do all that was best for her.  I'd be supermom and super-admin and keep it all together like the feminist that I am. Only now do I realize that all of those things don't necessarily go hand in hand.  In fact... I'm going to go out on a limb and say that as long as a woman is breastfeeding her kids there is no way in hell that they can be as dedicated as a man in the workplace.  It just isn't possible.  I have an extreme situation.  My kid is in daycare right down the hall.  This is quite excellent until it isn't.  I get called ou...

This week was nuts. I had a crazy flu/cold all the while taking kids on Shadow Day field trips, public speaking, mediating drama between students and teachers, and helping close out an auction and organizing a pep assembly... which I actually emceed for the first time ever with practically no voice and a fever. Dear lord in heaven. Here's what I've learned: 1.  I can't do everything.  I need help.  I need to tell others more often when I do need help.  I'm getting better at this (I delegated at work a lot better/ asked for assistance). 2.  The teachers and support staff at my school are dear and wonderful supportive folks. 3.  There's a common bond between all parents of colicky babies.  Every time I uttered the words "she's colicky" to a parent who survived this craziness they shudder and immediately try to hug me.  PTSD isn't just from wars. 4.  I miss my child more than I thought I would.  She's super cute and weekends are...

I don't know what specifically I was thinking when I scheduled this week last year.  It's insane.  Today I took a busload of students over to a feeder jr. high in order to welcome the 8th graders.  I have 5 of these in the next week.  I have breakfast with the board tomorrow morning at 7:30am and then have to stay until 6pm with Dance Marathon.  I have to mediate some drama between students as well, and have a meeting with student government leaders and administrators and moderate that too. I have a variety show on Friday, as well as a pep assembly.  And throughout all of this all I really want to do is escape a little and go hang out with my little lady in day care. Today was much rougher than yesterday.  I am realizing how little time I actually get with this little girl of mine...  she wakes up, I scoop her up and feed her and off we go in the car seat.  I come down and visit her 3-4 times throughout the day to feed her and burp her... ...

Holy hell. It's 9:15 and I'm wrecked.  Today was my first day back and it was definitely a whirlwind.  I woke up at 6:25, jumped in the shower, got my pj's on (it was pajama day), packed up supplies and fed the little lady and packed her up and we hit the road by 7:15.  I didn't get breakfast in, but we got in on time.  I dropped her off and didn't really have a hard time saying goodbye since I knew I'd be back multiple times throughout the day to feed her.  I had many people stop and ask me "how I was doing" with the expectation of me bursting into tears... but I'm going to go ahead and guess that these folks didn't have colicky babies.  :)  It was however so nice to be welcomed back to the building by so many lovely and caring teachers.  The teachers in this building are so lovely to work with... I had lunch supplied to me as well as chocolate chip cookies and quite a few wonderful folks who stopped in to check on me. Let me start by say...

Tomorrow is my last day of maternity leave.  It's pretty crazy that I haven't been "working" for 15 weeks.  I'm so excited to go back to "work" because it's a hell of a lot easier than sitting home with a baby.  My days have literally just melded into one continuous stream, and they have flown by.  FLOWN.  I don't think I really truly believe that this little lady flew out of me over 3 months ago!  So here are some of my take aways, and things I'm freaking out over. I think it's going to be very very good for her to get out of our house.  I don't know how much more laying around on the same play gym she really could have taken. I'm worried about her getting sick.  I know it's going to happen almost instantly and she's been healthy this entire time (knock on wood).  She isn't exactly an easy baby and I'm very scared of how she'll be when sick. I'm very ready to talk to adults.  There is oh-so-much dram...