Post Partum

Today was my 6 week appointment with the lady doctor.  They check you out, make sure all of your parts are how they need to be and where they need to be and then send you on your way.  They also give you a mood assessment.  I was asked to take a questionnaire 8 months into my pregnancy which asked me to rate myself, my attitude about life, as well as how anxious and sad I felt.  Anyone who knows me knows that I'm pretty much a happy-go-lucky person.  I've often been told by others who tend to drift towards depression that my presence is a help to them.

 This questionnaire was the first time that I realized that things have definitely changed.  I answered every question pre-pregnancy with a completely sun-shiny response.  This time was a definite switch.  It wasn't that I was on the other end of the spectrum, however each question has 4 possible answers with sunshine on one end and rainclouds on the other.  Most of my answers had switched over one notch to less sun-shiny.  It made me take pause... because if I was able to be switched to such an extent, I can't imagine how others who tend to be a little more broody feel during these times.  It's a serious thing.  Also, I wonder how ladies who aren't breastfeeding and getting a constant dose of oxytocin every few hours are able to handle these tough times.  It's incredible that evolution builds in a little chemical to add a little happy to a woman's life (and also protect that baby).  Gives me a reason to keep myself attached to the little bugger.  :)

Overall, my life is different.  The weeks just feel like one long day and the days where I don't get much sleep are really really tough.  I think most of my mental shift is simply from being severely under-slept.  I need to work on getting to bed at a more child-appropriate hour more consistently.  I think that might get me back to the more sun-shiny end of the spectrum.