Weird Dreams

My dreams during pregnancy are the most psychedelic thing I have ever experienced.  Some of them just need to be documented for posterity.  Here are a few doozies...


  • I'm on a battleship.  I have to pee.  The battleship has 26 port-a-potties.  Each one has a warrior specially trained to fight zombies chained up within it.  Most of the port-a-potties are full to capacity or are in disrepair.  I run from one to the other looking for a clean one.  One of them is guarded by a zombie warrior who values cleanliness, she's actually someone I went to elementary school with.  However, she values it to such a point that she is a germaphobe and won't allow others to use it.  I have to barter with her until I am allowed in... I wake up with a strong urge to go to the bathroom.
  • I give birth to a baby who disappears below my navel and resurfaces as a fully-grown bearded man.  He is interested in breastfeeding.  I deny him and quickly face my maternal guilt.
  • The husband and I are getting ready for sleep.  His ex-girlfriend shows up and gifts us a few fluffy fox pups that look like Maltese puppies.  The "What Does the Fox Say" song is playing in the background.  All of a sudden as we're falling asleep the foxes turn into cannibals and start to bite each other to death.  Our bed becomes a bloody mess.  (this was the night we watched Breaking Bad).  
  • Tons of hatchets and bodily harm dreams (I'm really not a very violent person...  I have NO idea what is going on here).
  • I'm on a sail boat, after doing some evaluations, and a storm kicks up.  I'm there with science teachers, who I'm totally neurotic about now that we have a "different" relationship after doing evaluations.  These are people I truly care about that I have to grade on occasion, and that makes things tricky, since I don't know how they feel about me.  #adminproblems.  Anyhow, the storm kicks up and this tsunami type wave comes over the ship, and crashes down on us.  We're below deck, but there is this grid thing of rope on the top which I hold onto, as I spot a yellow submarine also below deck... and then I wake up.
  • I have two cats (not really... I'm deathly allergic), both of them live with us in a building in London town.  The building gets taller each year, and since I'm living for hundreds of years the building is very tall.  I run towards one of the cats one day, she freaks out and jumps out the window and dies.  The other cat decides to also jump out, but he has the ability to hop from cloud to cloud.  Somehow he lives.  We look forward to his visits.  There's also a dead body in this dream that can only be disposed of when we find the first cat... but we never do, so it just stays in the bedroom.  Gross.

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