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Showing posts from October, 2013

The Last Selfish Moments...

As a lady who lived on her own quite a bit in her 20's, I'm realizing how lucky I truly was to have had so much choice regarding what I did with the time in those formative years.  Making plans, signing up for classes or courses, traveling on a whim are all things I'll have to give up for quite some time with this little one on the way... so I'm grabbing all of the moments I possible can while I can.  If I get an hour or two to sit, I'm much less likely to focus all of my energy at work or on others... which is slightly startling to me, but kinda lovely at the same time.  There's nothing quite as relaxing as going for a walk on your own, taking time to go wander around the neighborhood, watching a ridiculous TV show, sitting in a coffee shop, or getting in a mani-pedi.  :)  It sounds trivial, but I think I'll miss spending time with me... so I'll do it while I can!

What It Means to Have a True Partner...

I've had some pretty significant struggles in life.  More than your average lady in her early 30's in my neighborhood with my level of education.  As an eternal optimist I can safely say that I've learned some really valuable lessons along the way... and that is a source of strength and guidance in my life.  I'm no Yoda, but there are definitely some things that I grasp that some others might not.  Last night during our Bradley class we held a "labor rehearsal" and went through tons of different stations with different tasks that we've learned along the way.  There were multiple times when I looked around the room and thought to myself "I'm one lucky girl."  My husband is simply incredible.  I'm just very lucky to know that I have someone who is calm in a stressful situation, selfless, inquisitive, and will do anything to help me while I bring a little girl into this world.  When I think back onto my previous relationships I realize that

34 Weeks

Little Lady P is head down and ready to party!  She's been having little dance parties with herself from the hours of 3am until about 4am on a nightly schedule... so I am pretty sure when Yanik and I will be awake once she does get here.  Her room is ready, I have diapers and a changing pad... and we'll install the car seat this weekend.  We're also getting bins ready to go over to friends and rummage through old belongings.  It's a crazy amount of stuff to do for a little someone who isn't even really 5 lbs.  We have 2 classes left with Denyse, and then we're officially getting pushed off as "ready."  We'll see how that all goes once LLP gets here.  I always talk myself down by thinking "if I had former students do this and their kids survived... we'll be ok."  !!! Sigh.

Pink

One of the glorious things about growing up in the 80's in this country was the rainbow.  The rainbow was everywhere! Rainbow Brite, Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcake... pretty much every color was always present and accounted for.  I went to Target yesterday and was just thoroughly disappointed.  Literally every thing that a girl could ever wear is pink.  It's as if the entire rainbow was wiped out in a generation and all we are left with is bubble gum.  I literally scoured and after some serious searching found a few yellow items... but I also went ahead and purchased something clearly made for a "boy."  It made me think of this article, and how right on she really was, is, and will be for quite some time. Such a silly thing, and such a symptom of what we do to little ladies in our society.  I'm miffed.  

Things I Miss

Ok... I'm overall a happy lady, but here are some things I've been missing lately (almost 34 weeks down!). Running.  I love this weather.  This is the weather that I long for when I run.  I'm not one of those crazy ladies who loves to jog around as soon as it's over 70 degrees... that's when I start to hide indoors.... I love cold.  I love cold morning runs.  And these 50 degree mornings make me long for running shoes, an Ipod, and then a cappuccino afterwards.   Feeling pretty.  I'm not a little lady normally, but I'm proud of my curves.  The curves at 34 weeks are pushing my self-esteem limits.  I think it's perfectly acceptable to be feeling this way... but I'm starting to look forward to getting my own body back.  The ability to run around.  I'm a spastic lady that has trouble sitting still.  I love to sprint up stairs.  This whole sprinting thing is slowly disappearing due to little-itty-bitty lungs. :)   The ability to drink wine to

33/33

Holy crap.  I'm 33 years old.  I'm 33 weeks pregnant.  Things are about to get real for sure.  The funny thing is, that even though these numbers are surreal to think about to current day me... I'm not really freaking out.  I'm sitting calmly having an out-of-body experience, but I'm ok.  I feel good.  I have such a partner and friend in Yanik, I know I'll be looked after even as I'm looking after another.  That makes this much much more incredible and workable.  So even though I know that I was alive when my parents were this age, I'm cool.  It's just the way life goes, the cycle goes on... and I'm ready for the next number to happen.  

Movements

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This little lady and I have been very aware of each other for a long long time.  I felt her kick for the first time around 14 weeks... which I was told is fairly early for a first time mama.  She's becoming cramped in my torso at this point, and the movements have become super different.  Instead of a little kick or hand movements here or there, at this point we're straight-up moving across the belly with our entire body, similar to a whale skimming the surface of the water.  It's totally alien-like, but also it's just flippin' amazing!  It for some reason makes this entire having a kid thing significantly more tangible and approachable.  Since I haven't had an ultrasound since 20 weeks, and we're approaching 33, there is something very strange about not having a visual... and this makes it a little more real.

The Secret Truth

I still love being pregnant.  Sure, there are days when I don't feel like I can "look pretty" without heaps of effort... and bending over to put on boots is really quite the adventure.  But for the most part... there's a magic to it.   Furthermore, I'm really resentful towards all of the stupid woman magazines for putting such a focus on what the body looks like during pregnancy as opposed to what this body can do! I have friggin' superpowers and never looked forward to having them.  I've always been a person that wanted kids and loved them... you know that creepy chick that smiles at every kindergartener she comes across? That's me.  But I always thought I would want to pick my baby up at approximately 1-2 years of age and then move forward from that point.   And I'll tell you what... so far? I think being knocked up is the best.  I really only have 8 weeks left and if 32/40 scores an A++, I'm not really all that concerned about the last 8 we