Mama Thoughts

Well... this past weekend we celebrated! This little lady turned one year old.  We made it through 365 days and more importantly nights with this little person.  Yan made a video of her first year of life... and it's incredible how this human turned from a little sac of uncoordinated impulses into a real life lady with opinions and a sense of humor and mischief that is a joy to behold. She taught us so much about ourselves as well as each other.  I know now that my husband is a softie of the best kind.  He will do pretty much anything to get a smile out of that little girl.  I know that I have a crazy need to get things right and make sure they're on a schedule... and that my little person will do all that she can to derail that plan.  :)  I'm getting better at letting go, but I definitely have a long way to go. I've learned to relax and take more time for myself as the year has progresses... but still need to do more of that.  Taking time for me and for us as a co

Chanukah started last night. Thanks to my mother in law picking up baby I was able to get to the grocery store and pick up food and drive home and make latkes and light the menorah.  We had a plate full of latkes for dinner.  I got to see Lilah do her new trick of when she grabs something to eat and blows on it before putting it in her mouth. She's a cautious little lady. She won't go up the stairs if they're too steep, she doesn't try to go down stairs ever, and she is totally petrified of hot food and drinks.  She's pretty funny.  I've become less cautious with age... mostly due to crazy amounts of mistakes regardless of how hard I protected myself against them.  It makes me think about risk taking and how I could actually teach my kid to take a few.  That's an interesting line to walk. For now I'm pretty thrilled about the stairs.  :)

We're getting there.   50 weeks old.  Almost one. Third tooth sprouted.  We're working on our other tooth and we'll be bucktoothed soon enough. She's babbling and repeating words after everyone that says anything. It doesn't sound like anything yet but when I yell "Yanik" she yells ah-ee!  When I say "Mama" she says baba!  We're close. We're cruising hardcore around couches and coffee tables (which all parents hate and darkly warn about constantly).  She'll stand up on a toy, and then grab another toy and hold it and let go of her support... wobble for a few seconds then snap back to reality and sink back down to the ground for safety. We're down to nursing 3 times a day.  She theoretically could be weaned at any moment.  Here I'm the one holding us back.  I'm terrified of bedtime with a bottle.  I don't know if she'll take one from me.  At the same time I'm done pumping and am kind of ready to be ba