"Vacation"
We got back yesterday.
Yan and I headed to Black Rock City in Nevada for the longest stretch I will ever get out there due to being a teacher. I had this trip planned long in advance (before I knew I was switching jobs) and therefore had 5 days away. This required much craziness. It turned out that when I was hired this would involve me missing my first day of class with two of my classes due to block scheduling. Also, this was in the middle of house construction, baby teething, and severe hormonal shifts in my body. It wasn't great timing.
We packed up and I had to make two days worth of sub plans for a block schedule with three preps. I had to pack up the little lady and her food, supplies, clothing, and belongings for her travels to three different grandparent homes. I had to prepare myself for pumping on the go for 5 days. This was by far the most nerve-wracking thing. I was very worried about the fact that I might lose my ability to breastfeed my child while we were gone.
I did everything I thought I needed to do and we got on the plane (also a big thanks to dad who went back to GBS when I forgot my ID there). We took off, we arrived in Reno. My rental car reservation was for the wrong weekend. I also royally screwed up my sub plans and came back to a mess. I think it's safe to assume that my brain is not firing at 100%. The lack of sleep and stress has definitely gotten to me and I think I need to slow down and process everything a little slower and double-check my steps.
I had two small tearful nervous breakdowns during this trip. Both caused by my drop in milk production. I was very very close to getting on a plane two separate times and just coming home to my little girl. Nonetheless, every time my friends talked me off the ledge and my wonderful husband always told me we could do whatever I needed. Just knowing it was an option eased my nerves significantly.
It was healthy. We slept, we hung out with each other as a couple, and we talked about things other than work and our child. I hung out with friends who I love and don't see often enough. I discussed really interesting things with people I love and care about. We saw incredible artwork and held hands and forgot about her occasionally (which always freaked me out and made me feel super guilty).
However at the end on that last day, I woke up and was filled with super shiny glee just knowing that we were heading home to see her. I secretly hoped she'd wake up multiple times in the night so I could hold her and feed her and cradle her. We got home and I definitely ran to that midnight feeding with some newly learned appreciation. She's my drug. I'm totally addicted, but more importantly I'm totally ok expressing that and hanging on to her a little tighter.
Yan and I headed to Black Rock City in Nevada for the longest stretch I will ever get out there due to being a teacher. I had this trip planned long in advance (before I knew I was switching jobs) and therefore had 5 days away. This required much craziness. It turned out that when I was hired this would involve me missing my first day of class with two of my classes due to block scheduling. Also, this was in the middle of house construction, baby teething, and severe hormonal shifts in my body. It wasn't great timing.
We packed up and I had to make two days worth of sub plans for a block schedule with three preps. I had to pack up the little lady and her food, supplies, clothing, and belongings for her travels to three different grandparent homes. I had to prepare myself for pumping on the go for 5 days. This was by far the most nerve-wracking thing. I was very worried about the fact that I might lose my ability to breastfeed my child while we were gone.
I did everything I thought I needed to do and we got on the plane (also a big thanks to dad who went back to GBS when I forgot my ID there). We took off, we arrived in Reno. My rental car reservation was for the wrong weekend. I also royally screwed up my sub plans and came back to a mess. I think it's safe to assume that my brain is not firing at 100%. The lack of sleep and stress has definitely gotten to me and I think I need to slow down and process everything a little slower and double-check my steps.
I had two small tearful nervous breakdowns during this trip. Both caused by my drop in milk production. I was very very close to getting on a plane two separate times and just coming home to my little girl. Nonetheless, every time my friends talked me off the ledge and my wonderful husband always told me we could do whatever I needed. Just knowing it was an option eased my nerves significantly.
It was healthy. We slept, we hung out with each other as a couple, and we talked about things other than work and our child. I hung out with friends who I love and don't see often enough. I discussed really interesting things with people I love and care about. We saw incredible artwork and held hands and forgot about her occasionally (which always freaked me out and made me feel super guilty).
However at the end on that last day, I woke up and was filled with super shiny glee just knowing that we were heading home to see her. I secretly hoped she'd wake up multiple times in the night so I could hold her and feed her and cradle her. We got home and I definitely ran to that midnight feeding with some newly learned appreciation. She's my drug. I'm totally addicted, but more importantly I'm totally ok expressing that and hanging on to her a little tighter.
Comments
Post a Comment