My Lover and My Fighter
Whelp it's official.
Game on.
My first "I don't love you" came in today. It actually stung less than I thought it would.
I read this blog a few weeks prior to giving birth about "10 things that nobody will tell you about having a second child." One of the items was "you will have moments where you hate your firstborn child." I thought to myself "No way!" She is too young to understand what's going on, she's going to feel lonely and I am going to do everything I can to shield this little person from the big bad baby that is about to be born.
Whelp.
Yeah.
I don't hate my little girl. But once that baby comes out and you see how little they are and how big their sibling is and how they have a functioning brain and the little one doesn't... it happens pretty quickly actually. My allegiance can now swing either way. And especially around bedtime, it's swinging towards my lover and not my fighter.
This little guy has such a sad way about him. When he cries, it isn't a wail of fury or of blame... it's just "I'm sad, please help!" as opposed to my little lady who has always had a true opinion of what has been going on around her.
I'm sure that we will grow through this phase as well. I won't take it personally (or try not to) when I shop all morning trying to buy her favorite things, make her a special lunch and then she refuses to eat it, go to sleep, and forces me to literally plop her in her crib and walk away because nothing else is working.
She has requested to move to her grandma's house permanently. She no longer loves me. And this is from a little girl who has a mother with the means to hire a nanny part-time to tend to her little brother so mom can maximize her "mommy-daughter time." This is what I get?? I can't even imagine what it's like when you don't have the means, you don't have money to get instacarted groceries, and you have to do this all yourself. ALL of it. Forget about single moms of multiples. Dear lord in heaven.
Mothers are saints.
I'm trying really hard to earn a spot in the club... but today isn't a day where I feel I'm doing particularly well to earn my stripes.
I'll keep working on it. But that little spitfire has got a little learning to do. And I just hope I don't neglect my little soft bundle while I'm teaching her. The battle continues...
Game on.
My first "I don't love you" came in today. It actually stung less than I thought it would.
I read this blog a few weeks prior to giving birth about "10 things that nobody will tell you about having a second child." One of the items was "you will have moments where you hate your firstborn child." I thought to myself "No way!" She is too young to understand what's going on, she's going to feel lonely and I am going to do everything I can to shield this little person from the big bad baby that is about to be born.
Whelp.
Yeah.
I don't hate my little girl. But once that baby comes out and you see how little they are and how big their sibling is and how they have a functioning brain and the little one doesn't... it happens pretty quickly actually. My allegiance can now swing either way. And especially around bedtime, it's swinging towards my lover and not my fighter.
This little guy has such a sad way about him. When he cries, it isn't a wail of fury or of blame... it's just "I'm sad, please help!" as opposed to my little lady who has always had a true opinion of what has been going on around her.
I'm sure that we will grow through this phase as well. I won't take it personally (or try not to) when I shop all morning trying to buy her favorite things, make her a special lunch and then she refuses to eat it, go to sleep, and forces me to literally plop her in her crib and walk away because nothing else is working.
She has requested to move to her grandma's house permanently. She no longer loves me. And this is from a little girl who has a mother with the means to hire a nanny part-time to tend to her little brother so mom can maximize her "mommy-daughter time." This is what I get?? I can't even imagine what it's like when you don't have the means, you don't have money to get instacarted groceries, and you have to do this all yourself. ALL of it. Forget about single moms of multiples. Dear lord in heaven.
Mothers are saints.
I'm trying really hard to earn a spot in the club... but today isn't a day where I feel I'm doing particularly well to earn my stripes.
I'll keep working on it. But that little spitfire has got a little learning to do. And I just hope I don't neglect my little soft bundle while I'm teaching her. The battle continues...
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