If Men Gave Birth...
I've been thinking about this ever since I left the hospital. If men gave birth... the world would be a very different place.
First off, mothers wouldn't only be in the hospital for 48 hours. Imagine a man pushing a baby out of himself and then hiking home and being expected to care for another. Wouldn't happen. Hospital stays would be covered for a minimum of a week... and people would definitely care for you for a much much longer time. There's no way you'd be sent home with a squeeze bottle and a bag of icy pads and told "good luck!"
There would be expectant mother and new mother parking in every single parking lot. Especially in areas where it snows and has sub-zero temperatures.
There would be a lane devoted to mothers on the roads. Babies freak out at every red light. They like motion. It would be similar to how ambulances function at lights. Each new mother would get a little button thingy that could turn lights from red to green and they could bypass traffic. Like busses... but for little people. This way I wouldn't have to swerve right and left to mimic rocking while continuously braking towards each red light. I swear I'm going to get arrested for a DUI in broad daylight one of these days.
Maternity leave. Let's not even get me started on this. 6 weeks?! That is the biggest load of horse manure I have ever heard. Take a man, give him something to squeeze out from which recovery would be a minimum of 3-4 weeks physically. Then on top of that you have to wake up every 2-3 hours through the night so you never get a stretch of sleep longer than 3-4 hours. Then you have to feed your little person every 2-3 hours during the day, which drains you of a ton of energy. And then return to work at 6 weeks and be expected to perform like you did before. I can't even imagine how this is going to work at 14 weeks. And I'm lucky! I had this option available to me as long as I was ok with being docked pay. This country really has its' head up its' tuchus when it comes to maternity leave. There's NO WAY this would be the case if men gave birth.
Finally... Mother's day?? It would be the new Christmas. We'd see the aisles decorated 2-3 months in advance... there'd be songs and for sure there would be parades.
If men gave birth.
First off, mothers wouldn't only be in the hospital for 48 hours. Imagine a man pushing a baby out of himself and then hiking home and being expected to care for another. Wouldn't happen. Hospital stays would be covered for a minimum of a week... and people would definitely care for you for a much much longer time. There's no way you'd be sent home with a squeeze bottle and a bag of icy pads and told "good luck!"
There would be expectant mother and new mother parking in every single parking lot. Especially in areas where it snows and has sub-zero temperatures.
There would be a lane devoted to mothers on the roads. Babies freak out at every red light. They like motion. It would be similar to how ambulances function at lights. Each new mother would get a little button thingy that could turn lights from red to green and they could bypass traffic. Like busses... but for little people. This way I wouldn't have to swerve right and left to mimic rocking while continuously braking towards each red light. I swear I'm going to get arrested for a DUI in broad daylight one of these days.
Maternity leave. Let's not even get me started on this. 6 weeks?! That is the biggest load of horse manure I have ever heard. Take a man, give him something to squeeze out from which recovery would be a minimum of 3-4 weeks physically. Then on top of that you have to wake up every 2-3 hours through the night so you never get a stretch of sleep longer than 3-4 hours. Then you have to feed your little person every 2-3 hours during the day, which drains you of a ton of energy. And then return to work at 6 weeks and be expected to perform like you did before. I can't even imagine how this is going to work at 14 weeks. And I'm lucky! I had this option available to me as long as I was ok with being docked pay. This country really has its' head up its' tuchus when it comes to maternity leave. There's NO WAY this would be the case if men gave birth.
Finally... Mother's day?? It would be the new Christmas. We'd see the aisles decorated 2-3 months in advance... there'd be songs and for sure there would be parades.
If men gave birth.
YANIK would've handle it, being an exceptional man he really is!
ReplyDeleteCan't believe i am his "mother in-low", but i can't believe i am a Grandma either :))