Back to the mat...
Today was magic.
Why you might ask? Because it wasn't about the baby, it was about me. Before you think to yourself "wow! what a parent she is..." I'll go ahead and explain. I went to yoga. Not just any yoga, but my favorite yoga at Bloom taught by Dede. This is a class that I haven't been able to attend since I was about 5 months pregnant, and had to stop doing things like handstands and extreme twists.
Today my mother-in-law came to watch my child who is still on a nursing strike off and on, and I left her with a bottle (which I am not really supposed to do with a child on a nursing strike) and ran to yoga. And it was worth it. I forgot what taking a second to breathe actually felt like when you mean it. Not the "breathe! 10-9-8-7" kind of breathing but the in and out of ujjayi breath. The kind of breathing when you prepare to "om." I also realized today that the last time I breathed like that was during labor. It turns out the moaning I churned out during labor was the exact sound of my om in class. :) Sweet.
Anyhow. I skipped out on half of the vinyasas but the rest of class I totally rocked. I got up into crow, I did my dolphin headstand and I nailed my half-crescent. And it felt great. Because it reminded me that all is temporary. Yes. I wasn't able to attend a "real" yoga class in over 5 months, but now I'm back and it's the first one and I don't have nearly as far to go as I was expecting. It's almost back to normal. And so will my life. My life will get almost back to normal eventually. Everything is temporary and this too shall pass.
The ladies after class were also helpful to pass on this message. Everyone commiserated on how hard babies really truly are and how friggin' frustrating it is when people say things like "wow! so great! you really should treasure every moment, it's over so fast!" or "wow... how great is being a mom?!" because really... it is great and yes I do treasure the moments, but overall I just need to hear people tell me "it's really hard, I know" and most of all "this too shall pass." But today I was able to get my breath on, stretch out, take a little time for me, and figure it out on my own. And THAT is what I've been missing.
Why you might ask? Because it wasn't about the baby, it was about me. Before you think to yourself "wow! what a parent she is..." I'll go ahead and explain. I went to yoga. Not just any yoga, but my favorite yoga at Bloom taught by Dede. This is a class that I haven't been able to attend since I was about 5 months pregnant, and had to stop doing things like handstands and extreme twists.
Today my mother-in-law came to watch my child who is still on a nursing strike off and on, and I left her with a bottle (which I am not really supposed to do with a child on a nursing strike) and ran to yoga. And it was worth it. I forgot what taking a second to breathe actually felt like when you mean it. Not the "breathe! 10-9-8-7" kind of breathing but the in and out of ujjayi breath. The kind of breathing when you prepare to "om." I also realized today that the last time I breathed like that was during labor. It turns out the moaning I churned out during labor was the exact sound of my om in class. :) Sweet.
Anyhow. I skipped out on half of the vinyasas but the rest of class I totally rocked. I got up into crow, I did my dolphin headstand and I nailed my half-crescent. And it felt great. Because it reminded me that all is temporary. Yes. I wasn't able to attend a "real" yoga class in over 5 months, but now I'm back and it's the first one and I don't have nearly as far to go as I was expecting. It's almost back to normal. And so will my life. My life will get almost back to normal eventually. Everything is temporary and this too shall pass.
The ladies after class were also helpful to pass on this message. Everyone commiserated on how hard babies really truly are and how friggin' frustrating it is when people say things like "wow! so great! you really should treasure every moment, it's over so fast!" or "wow... how great is being a mom?!" because really... it is great and yes I do treasure the moments, but overall I just need to hear people tell me "it's really hard, I know" and most of all "this too shall pass." But today I was able to get my breath on, stretch out, take a little time for me, and figure it out on my own. And THAT is what I've been missing.
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